So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
