chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
