I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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