She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
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It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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