i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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