I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
