i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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