can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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