She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
