Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
