you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
