my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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