The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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