dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Non-Jews are for practice
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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