Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
