I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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