I just threw up on my dentist
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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