just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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