My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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