Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
