Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
