I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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