every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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