Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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