I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
handjob tips. give me some.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
