I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
