At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
