I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize