Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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