Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
