glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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