Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
