what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
