Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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