i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
