i permit you to call me
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
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you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
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Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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