we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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