And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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