so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
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Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
well, you know. whores of a feather.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize