moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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