yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
