Say something about gay babies.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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