Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
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Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
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It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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