Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
