"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
