Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
