My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Congratulations! We have a period
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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