I heard we made out
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
