I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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