Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize