lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
