WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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