If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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