She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
