i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
