I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
