Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.

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  (214): Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again. http://tfl.nu/sc3c
  Replies (5) Good night (1600) Bad night (596)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.

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  (215): Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous (610): Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference. http://tfl.nu/p378
  Replies (13) Good night (2250) Bad night (793)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide

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  (727): He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide http://tfl.nu/4asu
  Replies (7) Good night (642) Bad night (3446)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.

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  (978): we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now. http://tfl.nu/2hw3
  Replies (36) Good night (4520) Bad night (869)
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  (949): View more from California

  Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.

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  (949): Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that. http://tfl.nu/bq5s
  Replies (10) Good night (5531) Bad night (990)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face

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  (304): I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face http://tfl.nu/lyd3
  Replies (10) Good night (3406) Bad night (848)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party

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  (512): honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party http://tfl.nu/io10
  Replies (6) Good night (2295) Bad night (704)
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  (483): View more from

  Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?

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  (483): Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she? http://tfl.nu/qpva
  Replies (7) Good night (1035) Bad night (1640)
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  (619): View more from California

  He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.

  (760): View more from California

  Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.

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  (619): He is just a personification of a vodka hangover. (760): Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes. http://tfl.nu/e8aw
  Replies (1) Good night (1160) Bad night (625)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.

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  (515): You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it. http://tfl.nu/eptf
  Replies (6) Good night (2103) Bad night (714)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.

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  (757): Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers. http://tfl.nu/o7tu
  Replies (3) Good night (495) Bad night (505)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important

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  (+44): have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important http://tfl.nu/fujo
  Replies (2) Good night (789) Bad night (370)
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  (415): View more from California

  The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.

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  (415): The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle. http://tfl.nu/pzvt
  Replies (1) Good night (491) Bad night (655)
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  (858): View more from California

  Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip

  (858): View more from California

  It's the little things

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  (858): Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip (858): It's the little things http://tfl.nu/9b0s
  Replies (0) Good night (542) Bad night (318)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.

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  (717): He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire. http://tfl.nu/b1n8
  Replies (2) Good night (355) Bad night (562)

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