Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?

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(313): So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life? http://tfl.nu/8qm6

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.

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(603): five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon. http://tfl.nu/sqt2

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(802): View more from Vermont

he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye

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(802): he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye http://tfl.nu/p3ay

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.

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(717): Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag. http://tfl.nu/8k5h

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(443): View more from Maryland

I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.

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(443): I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network. http://tfl.nu/hbga

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(209): View more from California

she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook

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(209): she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook http://tfl.nu/tp82

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(805): View more from California

do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?

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(805): do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland? http://tfl.nu/lpb9

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(404): View more from Georgia

She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"

(678): View more from Georgia

So... What happend then?

(404): View more from Georgia

We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.

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(404): She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating" (678): So... What happend then? (404): We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM. http://tfl.nu/3t62

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(904): View more from Florida

I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.

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(904): I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers. http://tfl.nu/cp6l

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.

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(412): I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go. http://tfl.nu/523r

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(716): View more from New York

When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.

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(716): When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex. http://tfl.nu/mu23

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week

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(724): I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week http://tfl.nu/5fel

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(858): View more from California

WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.

(760): View more from California

You're High aren't you?

(858): View more from California

Sooooo high

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(858): WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service. (760): You're High aren't you? (858): Sooooo high http://tfl.nu/byvy

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(804): View more from Virginia

it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter

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(804): it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter http://tfl.nu/864b

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with

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(860): Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with http://tfl.nu/09mm

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