i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.