Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
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For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
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Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.