happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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