It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.