theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session