I need help removing her.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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