Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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