There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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