if i can run in heels then i can drive
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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