Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
