this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
