I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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