Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
