He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
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He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
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Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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