Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
