I cockslap morals
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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