Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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